Yes, we are still waiting.
We did get two pictures of a sibling set approx 6 weeks ago, BUT the girl was definitely not 6. Looked to be 8-10 and a Pediatric Dentist verified (looking at the pictures and analyzing teeth!). So, without receiving any more info than just the pictures, we decided to decline that referral. Guess once again God knew because just found out last week that the boy tested positive for HIV, something we don't want to battle.
So.....just waiting. The agency said it hopefully wouldn't be long, but it already has. This is actually a longer wait now than typical. ugg.
Something exciting to report though! My cousin, Dolly (adopted from Korea) has recently announced that they are adopting (from Korea). This is so amazing!
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
and waiting....
Ha! Glenn said I should be updating this more often. The heading should be each time, "waiting" and then...."and waiting".
Yes, we are just still waiting. We did get an email last month "ON THE BOARMAN, THEIR CHILDREN WERE COMING FROM THE GOVERNMENT HOME, THE SOCIALWELFARE OFFICER INCHARGE OF THEIR CASE IS ON LEAVE AND WILL BE COMING BACK NEXT MONTH, WE ARE WORKING ON ALL THE NECCESSARY DOCUMENTS BEFORE SHE COMES , I WILL KEEP YOU UPDATE ON IT".
And, just received another email today, "WITH THE BOARMAN FAMILY THE SOCIALWELFARE OFFICER IS COMING BACK THIS WEEK AND WE WILL START THE WORK AS SOON AS POSSIBLE".
Now you know as much as we do!
Yes, we are just still waiting. We did get an email last month "ON THE BOARMAN, THEIR CHILDREN WERE COMING FROM THE GOVERNMENT HOME, THE SOCIALWELFARE OFFICER INCHARGE OF THEIR CASE IS ON LEAVE AND WILL BE COMING BACK NEXT MONTH, WE ARE WORKING ON ALL THE NECCESSARY DOCUMENTS BEFORE SHE COMES , I WILL KEEP YOU UPDATE ON IT".
And, just received another email today, "WITH THE BOARMAN FAMILY THE SOCIALWELFARE OFFICER IS COMING BACK THIS WEEK AND WE WILL START THE WORK AS SOON AS POSSIBLE".
Now you know as much as we do!
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
quick update
Okay so not much new.....we are just waiting. Wow, do we know what waiting feels like. We are supposedly still going to get that "potential referral". Apparently we are waiting on the Ministry of Social Welfare to release their social and medicals and then the referral can be official. One week has turned into just close to 2 months now. But!, I know God's timing is right. Of course, with school starting craziness I have been pretty busy nonstop so definitely not waiting by the computer. Some days I'm not sure I even have a moment to actually take in something so big as an email with info. So, it's all good :)
We did get our official papers that we can bring orphans into the country-our I600a approval. We had to be fingerprinted in Denver (Bryce too because he's over 18). The place was empty when we arrived so we laughed at why we waited weeks with an official appointment date and time (Bryce even had to have a different appt date because the computer had shown no appts left after they entered mine and Glenn's name--ugg), but that's the gov for ya. I remember earlier on panicking about getting that paperwork in (have to have home study approval and all to submit it) and the timing and didn't want to be waiting weeks for an appointment and then weeks more for approval. Turns out that was really such an insignificant thing to wait for and didn't halt anything.....as we're waiting anyway! :) It was the last big step and we have done everything for this process we can possibly do at this point.
Thanks everyone for your support. I know many of you have sent donations to Kids Too! for us. We don't get names until the end of the year so please know that we thank you in our hearts, just can't on paper yet.
We did get our official papers that we can bring orphans into the country-our I600a approval. We had to be fingerprinted in Denver (Bryce too because he's over 18). The place was empty when we arrived so we laughed at why we waited weeks with an official appointment date and time (Bryce even had to have a different appt date because the computer had shown no appts left after they entered mine and Glenn's name--ugg), but that's the gov for ya. I remember earlier on panicking about getting that paperwork in (have to have home study approval and all to submit it) and the timing and didn't want to be waiting weeks for an appointment and then weeks more for approval. Turns out that was really such an insignificant thing to wait for and didn't halt anything.....as we're waiting anyway! :) It was the last big step and we have done everything for this process we can possibly do at this point.
Thanks everyone for your support. I know many of you have sent donations to Kids Too! for us. We don't get names until the end of the year so please know that we thank you in our hearts, just can't on paper yet.
Sunday, July 4, 2010
How much does it cost to add a family memeber...or two!
I promised to give you a break down of the fees to adopt siblings from Ghana. Some of these are estimates, but most are fixed.
http://financialhurdles.blogspot.com/2010/07/how-much-does-it-cost-to-add-family.html
http://financialhurdles.blogspot.com/2010/07/how-much-does-it-cost-to-add-family.html
potential referral
I was shopping in Walgreens on Thursday when I received a call from the agency. My heart didn't even race for a second because I just figured there was something wrong with the paperwork. Even though we submitted our dossier (country paperwork) a couple weeks ago now, it wouldn't have surprised me that it was still in office and they were working on it. Not because of anything with the agency, but because everything in the adoption world moves so slow. She was actually calling to verify what age ranges, etc. we were interested in because they had word on a sibling set and we were up first in line for those ranges. A boy age 6 and a girl age 3. Wow. Outside of twins, it was pretty ideal. I have wanted one of each, and to have the boy be older. These ages are both at the top and bottom of what we said would be ideal (ages 3-6). I don't honestly know what would be ideal though. I know younger would be better for bonding, etc., but this also seems like so much more work (they don't dress themselves, they need more involved daycare, etc). I have really been trying to not "figure it out" and just leave it up to God. I know he knows what is ideal and so I'm going with that! I know that even though we specify what we would like, we can get a referral on just about anything so again, leaving it up to God.
She said that the referral can't be official until they receive the medicals, pictures, and any other info, but that they were verified as orphans and ready to be adopted. She said it would "take some time" before they received the info. When I asked what that meant, she replied, "probably about a week". Ha! I was laughing because again, adoption world is slow and so I figured she meant awhile to be a month or more. So, now we are possibly a couple days away from receiving our referral. Pretty exciting! I guess I'm asking for prayers that this is our timing, that everything will work out with the medicals and all--meaning they are cleared and don't have anything that would prevent the referral to us. Pray also that we will see these kids through God's eyes and not judge their pictures and that we would have a settled heart on accepting it (the referral). If we accept the referral, a lot more money will be due. We sent out letters this week and we pray that everyone will pray about their part in our adoption and that if they feel lead, will contribute financially.
Love you guys! gotta go watch the fireworks! God bless America!
She said that the referral can't be official until they receive the medicals, pictures, and any other info, but that they were verified as orphans and ready to be adopted. She said it would "take some time" before they received the info. When I asked what that meant, she replied, "probably about a week". Ha! I was laughing because again, adoption world is slow and so I figured she meant awhile to be a month or more. So, now we are possibly a couple days away from receiving our referral. Pretty exciting! I guess I'm asking for prayers that this is our timing, that everything will work out with the medicals and all--meaning they are cleared and don't have anything that would prevent the referral to us. Pray also that we will see these kids through God's eyes and not judge their pictures and that we would have a settled heart on accepting it (the referral). If we accept the referral, a lot more money will be due. We sent out letters this week and we pray that everyone will pray about their part in our adoption and that if they feel lead, will contribute financially.
Love you guys! gotta go watch the fireworks! God bless America!
Monday, June 28, 2010
Long awaited update
Sorry for the non existence on this blog for so long. There were some changes that we just didn't feel we wanted to put online until they were sorted out.
During the time of our adoption classes, we discovered that Ghana is, in some cases, is issuing a 2 year interim adoption whereas we would not have the adoption final until after this time period is up. This was a concern with the tax deduction being extended until 2011 but not indefinitely. We also needed time to figure out what other issues this might cause. We also discovered that fact that because the US Embassy is doing a lot more with the orphan investigations (often DNA testing) after the Ghana decree has been issued but before the visa home will be issued, two trips are mandatory (unless you want to move in for a while over there!). We became increasingly frustrated with our agency for having to find out a lot of this on our own and few of our questions being answered. We decided to "start over" and research whether or not we should pursue Ghana or another country, and/or continue with our agency or move to another.
So for a couple weeks we agonized. Up until that point we had done everything so quickly and efficiently to keep everything moving forward and now the ball was in our court in order to proceed. Certain paperwork couldn't be filed at that point without knowing which country, and certain paperwork couldn't be done without knowing which agency! As like before, one almost can't be decided without the other. Knowing which one to chose first is the hardest part. I spent more hours than anyone possibly can researching all of the above deeper than any possible human ever has--at least Glenn is convinced of that. We narrowed it down to 3 countries and in the end Ghana won out for various reasons. I'm not sure we were convinced before, but after this long process, we are assured Ghana has found us and this is the country our kids are in. A funny quick story....after we officially made the decision and were sitting around the kitchen as a family discussing it, Freddie Adu came up. He was the young soccer player that came over here to play and got a lot of media attention. We weren't sure where he came from and so we googled it. He was from Ghana! Ha! that nailed it, we had made the right decision...if a great soccer player could come from there (okay, so only if you know how much we as a family love soccer will this make you smile. We will certainly be okay too though if neither of our kids ends up playing soccer)!
We did end up switching agencies for various reasons and are still negotiating our initial large fee and pending the outcome, I may or may not reveal the details.
The great news now~ our home study has been approved by Colorado, the government has acknowledged our I600a application has been received (the "previsa" form that will give us permission to bring orphans into the US), and we have officially sent in our DOSSIER (the country paperwork and last paperwork step!). The Dossier had something like 25 notarized pages and contains our life! This is huge because now we have again done everything we can and it's in others hands. We now play the waiting game.....we could get our referrals (matching with kids) anytime and once that happens court will be scheduled and we could be traveling within weeks. The referral part is really unknown though. Could happen soon or we could wait 6 months+. It all depends on whether children in the age ranges we desire are available or when they will become so. The contacts in Ghana do not know what we desire in order to keep the process more ethical (agencies don't want others 'shopping' for certain kids). From what I've heard and read, this seems to be the hardest part....the waiting now. I admit, I feel more peace than ever and am not anxious. Maybe that's because I know we need more money to keep things rolling, maybe that's because I keep thinking of all the things I need to do before to prepare (bedrooms, getting caught up on current kids scrapbooks!, accumulating more vacation time at work, etc). But then I think about the situation our kids could be in right now, and it tears at my heart. I know God's timing is perfect and so I'm dwelling on that for now.
During the time of our adoption classes, we discovered that Ghana is, in some cases, is issuing a 2 year interim adoption whereas we would not have the adoption final until after this time period is up. This was a concern with the tax deduction being extended until 2011 but not indefinitely. We also needed time to figure out what other issues this might cause. We also discovered that fact that because the US Embassy is doing a lot more with the orphan investigations (often DNA testing) after the Ghana decree has been issued but before the visa home will be issued, two trips are mandatory (unless you want to move in for a while over there!). We became increasingly frustrated with our agency for having to find out a lot of this on our own and few of our questions being answered. We decided to "start over" and research whether or not we should pursue Ghana or another country, and/or continue with our agency or move to another.
So for a couple weeks we agonized. Up until that point we had done everything so quickly and efficiently to keep everything moving forward and now the ball was in our court in order to proceed. Certain paperwork couldn't be filed at that point without knowing which country, and certain paperwork couldn't be done without knowing which agency! As like before, one almost can't be decided without the other. Knowing which one to chose first is the hardest part. I spent more hours than anyone possibly can researching all of the above deeper than any possible human ever has--at least Glenn is convinced of that. We narrowed it down to 3 countries and in the end Ghana won out for various reasons. I'm not sure we were convinced before, but after this long process, we are assured Ghana has found us and this is the country our kids are in. A funny quick story....after we officially made the decision and were sitting around the kitchen as a family discussing it, Freddie Adu came up. He was the young soccer player that came over here to play and got a lot of media attention. We weren't sure where he came from and so we googled it. He was from Ghana! Ha! that nailed it, we had made the right decision...if a great soccer player could come from there (okay, so only if you know how much we as a family love soccer will this make you smile. We will certainly be okay too though if neither of our kids ends up playing soccer)!
We did end up switching agencies for various reasons and are still negotiating our initial large fee and pending the outcome, I may or may not reveal the details.
The great news now~ our home study has been approved by Colorado, the government has acknowledged our I600a application has been received (the "previsa" form that will give us permission to bring orphans into the US), and we have officially sent in our DOSSIER (the country paperwork and last paperwork step!). The Dossier had something like 25 notarized pages and contains our life! This is huge because now we have again done everything we can and it's in others hands. We now play the waiting game.....we could get our referrals (matching with kids) anytime and once that happens court will be scheduled and we could be traveling within weeks. The referral part is really unknown though. Could happen soon or we could wait 6 months+. It all depends on whether children in the age ranges we desire are available or when they will become so. The contacts in Ghana do not know what we desire in order to keep the process more ethical (agencies don't want others 'shopping' for certain kids). From what I've heard and read, this seems to be the hardest part....the waiting now. I admit, I feel more peace than ever and am not anxious. Maybe that's because I know we need more money to keep things rolling, maybe that's because I keep thinking of all the things I need to do before to prepare (bedrooms, getting caught up on current kids scrapbooks!, accumulating more vacation time at work, etc). But then I think about the situation our kids could be in right now, and it tears at my heart. I know God's timing is perfect and so I'm dwelling on that for now.
Saturday, May 15, 2010
Friday, April 16, 2010
adoption classes
Tomorrow we take our last adoption class and it will mainly focus in transracial/transcultural adoption. More sacrifice as we'll miss one of Savannah's biggest games!
Last week we had two all day classes, and Glenn and I both agree we learned way more than we thought! Many things I probably would have done opposite. For example, never wanted to teach my kids to run to me for every little thing and so I never made a big deal about cuts, scrapes, etc. It is actually really important for parents to completely acknowlege all of these things and let the kids realize you are there for them. They have to learn that someone does care and learn that their needs will be met. A lot of them don't even cry for anything because they have learned it doesn't matter. The classes were really based on Erickson's stages of development. Remember that from school? Trust versus mistrust is the first stage and many of the kids never get through that one. So, for the first weeks to months to up to a year we will have to help our children go through the stages until they are caught up and help them see us as their primary caregivers in order to bond. Often kids will regress (going back to those stages) and that is expected and okay. An example is that an older kid might want to drink out of a bottle once home. You should let them! and even hold them while they do. They know what they haven't received (maybe they have never been held while being fed, etc). The instructors assured us that this will not be permanent (whew) and they have to go through each stage. It all makes so much sense and I'm glad we were required to learn it all.
Other things going on....our psych evals are finally done ($560 later after insurance coverage). I tried to send them to the agency and then she recommended I just give them to the Home Study social worker. What?! the agency required them and Melissa (social worker) already approved our Home Study without them and never wanted them. So frustrating.
Also, International agency has some concerns with some verbage in our Home Study and how that might look to the country. So....just when I thought things were moving, they're not. It's being worked on but looks like we are now 2-3 weeks from submitting the I600a (see previous post). I have already screamed.
My Aunt told me on the phone one day. "Lori, you just have to do your part. You can hurry and gather your stuff and do everything to keep it going fast, but ultimately it might sit on someones desk for 3 weeks and you have no control of that. All you can do is pray and do your part". This has comforted me way more than I ever wanted it to at this stage, but thank you for giving me that advice, Auntie.
Last week we had two all day classes, and Glenn and I both agree we learned way more than we thought! Many things I probably would have done opposite. For example, never wanted to teach my kids to run to me for every little thing and so I never made a big deal about cuts, scrapes, etc. It is actually really important for parents to completely acknowlege all of these things and let the kids realize you are there for them. They have to learn that someone does care and learn that their needs will be met. A lot of them don't even cry for anything because they have learned it doesn't matter. The classes were really based on Erickson's stages of development. Remember that from school? Trust versus mistrust is the first stage and many of the kids never get through that one. So, for the first weeks to months to up to a year we will have to help our children go through the stages until they are caught up and help them see us as their primary caregivers in order to bond. Often kids will regress (going back to those stages) and that is expected and okay. An example is that an older kid might want to drink out of a bottle once home. You should let them! and even hold them while they do. They know what they haven't received (maybe they have never been held while being fed, etc). The instructors assured us that this will not be permanent (whew) and they have to go through each stage. It all makes so much sense and I'm glad we were required to learn it all.
Other things going on....our psych evals are finally done ($560 later after insurance coverage). I tried to send them to the agency and then she recommended I just give them to the Home Study social worker. What?! the agency required them and Melissa (social worker) already approved our Home Study without them and never wanted them. So frustrating.
Also, International agency has some concerns with some verbage in our Home Study and how that might look to the country. So....just when I thought things were moving, they're not. It's being worked on but looks like we are now 2-3 weeks from submitting the I600a (see previous post). I have already screamed.
My Aunt told me on the phone one day. "Lori, you just have to do your part. You can hurry and gather your stuff and do everything to keep it going fast, but ultimately it might sit on someones desk for 3 weeks and you have no control of that. All you can do is pray and do your part". This has comforted me way more than I ever wanted it to at this stage, but thank you for giving me that advice, Auntie.
Sunday, April 4, 2010
Switching countries to Ghana
Since Feb, Uganda has been struggling with their adoption process. In Uganda, the law is that one must reside there for 3 years in order to adopt. The way International Adoption has been proceeding around that in the past is to get a guardianship with the intention to adopt by the Ugandan courts, and then come to the US to make it final. In the last few month new judges has have come in and recently they decided to take out those words "with the intention to adopt". Some (judges) argue that they should be following the law of 3 years, and some argue they should be following the law of doing what is in the best interest of the child. In the meantime, the US embassy has now refused to issue the visas to leave the country for obvious legal reasons. The very sad part, is that some families went over to Uganda, met up with their child, got legal guardianship (from the Ugandan courts), and now are waiting. I have been following one families blog and she has currently been there 10 weeks while they sort all this out. We have been trying to ride it out and not make a decision to switch until we ultimately had to (the country gets listed in the finalized Home Study), even though I think we knew in our hearts we wouldn't have confirmation in time. At this point, Uganda has agreed to put the wording back in (why the heck don't they just change the law!), but now the US embassy wants letters from 3 different Ugandan Ministries, which lawyers are advising will take months.
While we pretty much knew this was coming, our agency recently put the Ugandan program on hold, so it's really not a choice even if we wanted to push through. What are our choices? Well, when you sign on with an agency, you are boundried by the countries that they work with. The other two countries that will work with our interests and family, are Ethiopia and Ghana. When I talked further with the agency in the last two weeks, they updated me on some news that has been transpiring in Ethiopia including that now you have to travel there twice. After prayer and research, we decided Ghana was our best choice. It's on the west side of Africa and borders the ocean. Looks like a beautiful country and a great place to visit.
I've begun to pray for twins. It would be so much easier.
While we pretty much knew this was coming, our agency recently put the Ugandan program on hold, so it's really not a choice even if we wanted to push through. What are our choices? Well, when you sign on with an agency, you are boundried by the countries that they work with. The other two countries that will work with our interests and family, are Ethiopia and Ghana. When I talked further with the agency in the last two weeks, they updated me on some news that has been transpiring in Ethiopia including that now you have to travel there twice. After prayer and research, we decided Ghana was our best choice. It's on the west side of Africa and borders the ocean. Looks like a beautiful country and a great place to visit.
I've begun to pray for twins. It would be so much easier.
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Home Study done!
I know it's been a long time since I've updated, but we've been kinda in a "hurry up and wait" mode. More progress though as Glenn and I reviewed and signed our Home Study yesterday morning. It's amazing to me how much they know about us now, but there is still more to come! So...what now? Monday it gets emailed to our International agency and if they approve, it gets forwarded to Colorado for State approval. This has been taking around a week. Once that is done, we can send in our I600 (Application for Advance Processing of Orphan Petition). Basically step two out of three in the entire process, it's a preapproval by the US immigration to bring orphans into the country (I keep calling it a pre-visa). Tell you more as it comes.....
There are so many details to write, yet so few. I struggle sometimes with how much to put in this blog as I don't want to bore, overwhelm, or keep you from coming here for the basic info. I guess I will really try and do a happy medium and know that you can always contact me for any details I keep you curious about.
There are so many details to write, yet so few. I struggle sometimes with how much to put in this blog as I don't want to bore, overwhelm, or keep you from coming here for the basic info. I guess I will really try and do a happy medium and know that you can always contact me for any details I keep you curious about.
Monday, February 22, 2010
Home Study
Some of our clearances came in finally, so we were able to have Melissa (our social worker) at our house for our first visit last week. It was pretty basic. She just asked a lot of questions regarding our desire to adopt and ultimately, did we know what we were getting ourselved into! The visit lasted about an hour and we have two more this week. One, she will briefly talk with the kids. We did come out of it a little bummed as she gave us a better idea of a timeline at this point. The next visits are over the next two weeks, and then as long as the remainder of the clearances have come in by then, she will begin writing up the 15 page report. This could take a couple weeks since she has a huge load right now. And, Colorado then has to approve it which could take another couple weeks. UGGGH. I knew there was going to be a lot of waiting, but this is the worst case scenario as far as the timeline for a home study. It can take 1-3 months and I really thought with my deligence in getting all the paperwork back within a couple of days we would be close to 4-6 weeks. Looks like more like 3 months.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
double our fun
Here's the short version if you don't like to read: We are adopting two kids now.
Here's the long version if you are into details:
Long, long ago (ok, in December) it started in the NICU. Karen, is a great friend I work with and has also become a mentor. She adopted her only 4 children and I love hearing her stories. Naturally, she was the first person at work I told our news to. During that same day she had contacted her daughter (whom I am also friends with--we have played soccer together) and Sarah, had given her some blogs of friends that were adopting, or had already adopted, to share with me. Karen told me that day about how her daughter had really struggled at one point about being very dark in a light family, and that after they adopted their 4th (they made sure he was very dark), she never mentioned it again. Her reason for sharing, she joked, was that she thought I should get two! Ha! that was funny. I went home that night and shared the 'joke' with Savannah and Glenn. They both didn't laugh and replied that we should get two. I laughed and said, "I don't have a mini van and I just got rid of my car with 7 seats because we were done with that era". Savannah, excited, talked about how they could share a room no problem. Glenn looked at me sternly and said, "you should pray about that". Mmmm, okay, I will pray about that but I know the answer and it's that I only want one. I quickly changed the subject.
I sat down the next day and began reading some of these blogs. The very first one intrigued me and I cried as I read it. What a cool story; a family that started out to add one to their family had ended up with twins. She wanted a boy, he wanted a girl and so they left it up to God. Mmm, ended up with one of each. I thought for a moment, how much I wanted another girl, but that I do keep seeing the faces of boys and how much I would love another son. I can't figure out why when I want a girl so bad, that I would even consider looking at boys--but I was always drawn to them on any website, whether they were available or not.
I began my blog shortly after that and as I was writing the title and those first words/entries, I somehow felt compelled to leave some words plural. Of course, no one would realize at the time that I might be using "them", to actually mean "both of them" instead of the singular for them (see my title). I still knew I didn't want two, but I kept thinking about the blog I had read and wondered if my story would end like hers. She didn't want two, but so many things when she looks back (even within her blog), were already leading there.
Around this time we inquired on Doreen from the agency. At the same time they sent me her profile, they also sent me one of a little boy 3 yrs old. I had seen his picture on the Rainbow kids website too, but wondered why she had sent me more info on him when we clearly had told her we wanted a girl. Delete folder.
Soon after I spoke with my mom on the phone. We hadn't really talked since the announcement and she started the conversation by saying, "Lori, I think you should get two. I think with the age being so far behind Savannah, it will be nice to have two so that they can play together and have each other, etc.". Wow, where did this come from? I laughed it off again.
A week or so went on and I admit, I had prayed about it a little. Glenn had mentioned it several times but I pretty much ignored him. Then, one late night after work I went on the Rainbow Kids website to see if they had removed Doreen like they said they would when we agreed to committ to her. She was gone. Yay, but so was Edward. I wondered why and my wondering was strong enough that I emailed the agency to inquire if he had found a family. Glenn woke me up that night after getting off work. He had found my email to the agency and wondered what the heck. He was all excited and I assured him I was just curious. I told him he should be praying about this and he laughed and said he already knew the answer. We should take two, that there are only worldy answers to why we shouldn't. We can get a different car. The big step is one and two would almost make it easier in some regards. By the time they have bigger financial needs (what if they both want to play soccer? I could never deny my kids their desires), the others will be in college (oh dear--that is the most expensive time yet, right?). He also considered that adopting a second is not that much more fee wise. We can take the tax credit twice, which will essentially help with some of the costs of the first child (if the credit gets extended...please government, please). My other big fear is that I don't want my current children to become second. I fear that I would never be able to leave behind two little ones to attend another soccer tournament, etc. Glenn easily said he would be willing to keep them and let me go; that this doesn't mean death of everything else in our lives. Okay, this man is really talking from God. He is a great father, but he just keeps adding to what his responsibilites will be. And not because he wants to, but because he feels lead to.
I did, however, fight it for a few more days. Then the Sunday sermon came. It was on sacrifice and worldy things. The entire sermon spoke to our current situation and decisions at hand. Glenn kept looking at me with a smile throughout. Walking to the car, he announced that he would take the burden of my complex-over analyzing-mind and make the decision and just tell me we were going to adopt two. Don't know how that didn't get me falling to my knees, but I still wasn't ready to say okay. Maybe I just wanted more and more confirmation that he was ready to make that decision...that he had thought of all the outcomes. Thinking rationally, I know he doesn't say things until he has already done all that. I think I knew the answer, probably did for a few weeks now.
My dad's inclination was to "go for two". He wrote, "If God wants you to adopt two He will open that door for you; otherwise, He will close it in spite of what you might do or ask for through the agency". Great words to ponder...if it's not in God's plan, he will remove it if we ask for his guidance. I always forget that part. It's like I'm afraid to make a decision that is wrong, not realizing that God can redirect it at anytime!
26 hours later, I was praying about it one last time. I was sitting in the parking lot waiting to pick up the kids from school when an email came through on my blackberry. It distracted me and I grabbed my phone to look at it. It was from my aunt. I had mentioned in an ever so brief email a few days earlier that we were considering two. That she should really pray for us. The first words in that email were, "Listen to Glenn, he is showing spiritual leadership by taking the burden of the decision from you". I have never experienced a situation where I am fighting something spiritual, and Glenn is taking the lead. I can't begin to tell you how scary that is, but so peaceful and so amazing.
That was it. Her advice is always welcoming, but the timing was confirmation to me what God had been telling me. There is no question about God's will for us to take care of orphans. He give us the desires of our heart, not the objects of our desires. You can't miss when God's desires become your desires.
Here's the long version if you are into details:
Long, long ago (ok, in December) it started in the NICU. Karen, is a great friend I work with and has also become a mentor. She adopted her only 4 children and I love hearing her stories. Naturally, she was the first person at work I told our news to. During that same day she had contacted her daughter (whom I am also friends with--we have played soccer together) and Sarah, had given her some blogs of friends that were adopting, or had already adopted, to share with me. Karen told me that day about how her daughter had really struggled at one point about being very dark in a light family, and that after they adopted their 4th (they made sure he was very dark), she never mentioned it again. Her reason for sharing, she joked, was that she thought I should get two! Ha! that was funny. I went home that night and shared the 'joke' with Savannah and Glenn. They both didn't laugh and replied that we should get two. I laughed and said, "I don't have a mini van and I just got rid of my car with 7 seats because we were done with that era". Savannah, excited, talked about how they could share a room no problem. Glenn looked at me sternly and said, "you should pray about that". Mmmm, okay, I will pray about that but I know the answer and it's that I only want one. I quickly changed the subject.
I sat down the next day and began reading some of these blogs. The very first one intrigued me and I cried as I read it. What a cool story; a family that started out to add one to their family had ended up with twins. She wanted a boy, he wanted a girl and so they left it up to God. Mmm, ended up with one of each. I thought for a moment, how much I wanted another girl, but that I do keep seeing the faces of boys and how much I would love another son. I can't figure out why when I want a girl so bad, that I would even consider looking at boys--but I was always drawn to them on any website, whether they were available or not.
I began my blog shortly after that and as I was writing the title and those first words/entries, I somehow felt compelled to leave some words plural. Of course, no one would realize at the time that I might be using "them", to actually mean "both of them" instead of the singular for them (see my title). I still knew I didn't want two, but I kept thinking about the blog I had read and wondered if my story would end like hers. She didn't want two, but so many things when she looks back (even within her blog), were already leading there.
Around this time we inquired on Doreen from the agency. At the same time they sent me her profile, they also sent me one of a little boy 3 yrs old. I had seen his picture on the Rainbow kids website too, but wondered why she had sent me more info on him when we clearly had told her we wanted a girl. Delete folder.
Soon after I spoke with my mom on the phone. We hadn't really talked since the announcement and she started the conversation by saying, "Lori, I think you should get two. I think with the age being so far behind Savannah, it will be nice to have two so that they can play together and have each other, etc.". Wow, where did this come from? I laughed it off again.
A week or so went on and I admit, I had prayed about it a little. Glenn had mentioned it several times but I pretty much ignored him. Then, one late night after work I went on the Rainbow Kids website to see if they had removed Doreen like they said they would when we agreed to committ to her. She was gone. Yay, but so was Edward. I wondered why and my wondering was strong enough that I emailed the agency to inquire if he had found a family. Glenn woke me up that night after getting off work. He had found my email to the agency and wondered what the heck. He was all excited and I assured him I was just curious. I told him he should be praying about this and he laughed and said he already knew the answer. We should take two, that there are only worldy answers to why we shouldn't. We can get a different car. The big step is one and two would almost make it easier in some regards. By the time they have bigger financial needs (what if they both want to play soccer? I could never deny my kids their desires), the others will be in college (oh dear--that is the most expensive time yet, right?). He also considered that adopting a second is not that much more fee wise. We can take the tax credit twice, which will essentially help with some of the costs of the first child (if the credit gets extended...please government, please). My other big fear is that I don't want my current children to become second. I fear that I would never be able to leave behind two little ones to attend another soccer tournament, etc. Glenn easily said he would be willing to keep them and let me go; that this doesn't mean death of everything else in our lives. Okay, this man is really talking from God. He is a great father, but he just keeps adding to what his responsibilites will be. And not because he wants to, but because he feels lead to.
I did, however, fight it for a few more days. Then the Sunday sermon came. It was on sacrifice and worldy things. The entire sermon spoke to our current situation and decisions at hand. Glenn kept looking at me with a smile throughout. Walking to the car, he announced that he would take the burden of my complex-over analyzing-mind and make the decision and just tell me we were going to adopt two. Don't know how that didn't get me falling to my knees, but I still wasn't ready to say okay. Maybe I just wanted more and more confirmation that he was ready to make that decision...that he had thought of all the outcomes. Thinking rationally, I know he doesn't say things until he has already done all that. I think I knew the answer, probably did for a few weeks now.
My dad's inclination was to "go for two". He wrote, "If God wants you to adopt two He will open that door for you; otherwise, He will close it in spite of what you might do or ask for through the agency". Great words to ponder...if it's not in God's plan, he will remove it if we ask for his guidance. I always forget that part. It's like I'm afraid to make a decision that is wrong, not realizing that God can redirect it at anytime!
26 hours later, I was praying about it one last time. I was sitting in the parking lot waiting to pick up the kids from school when an email came through on my blackberry. It distracted me and I grabbed my phone to look at it. It was from my aunt. I had mentioned in an ever so brief email a few days earlier that we were considering two. That she should really pray for us. The first words in that email were, "Listen to Glenn, he is showing spiritual leadership by taking the burden of the decision from you". I have never experienced a situation where I am fighting something spiritual, and Glenn is taking the lead. I can't begin to tell you how scary that is, but so peaceful and so amazing.
That was it. Her advice is always welcoming, but the timing was confirmation to me what God had been telling me. There is no question about God's will for us to take care of orphans. He give us the desires of our heart, not the objects of our desires. You can't miss when God's desires become your desires.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Zambi- my first purchase for our little girl
1) Helping kids (I'm sure Hasbro gets Targets full price and the kids get the full proceeds even tho I got a great deal). 2) Finding my first 'perfect gift' for our new little girl, and 3) getting a great deal! What an awesome shopping experience.
Ha! Okay, now are you laughing.....yes....it's the little things.....:)
Monday, February 1, 2010
In the Past Hour
1,625 Children were forced to live on the streets by the death or abuse of an adult
1,667 Children under the age of five died from malnutrition and vaccine-preventalbe diseases
115 Children became prostitutes
66 children under 15 were infected with HIV (Uganda is a country that been severely effected by HIV leaving generations of orphans)
257 Children were orphaned because of HIV
"Sometimes I’d like to ask God why He allows poverty, famine and injustice in the world when He could do something about it......But I’m afraid God might ask me the same question."-Anonymous
1,667 Children under the age of five died from malnutrition and vaccine-preventalbe diseases
115 Children became prostitutes
66 children under 15 were infected with HIV (Uganda is a country that been severely effected by HIV leaving generations of orphans)
257 Children were orphaned because of HIV
"Sometimes I’d like to ask God why He allows poverty, famine and injustice in the world when He could do something about it......But I’m afraid God might ask me the same question."-Anonymous
Friday, January 29, 2010
Disappointment
Received an email last night from the agency. I had sent some questions through them to Uganda about "Doreen", the little girl we were hoping to adopt. After over a week of waiting, a response. Doreen is no longer available. That's it. Not anymore information than that. After 3 weeks of hoping she would be ours, she's not. How depressing. At the same time, how exciting that perhaps a relative has come to get her, she will not have to wait another day in the orphanage, ???? Glenn and I were in a glum mood last night, but know that it wasn't meant to be. I think we did a pretty good job of guarding our hearts knowing that, as the agency has said, "until they are on the plane with you, don't consider them yours". However, it is still hard. You already have ideas of what life was going to be with that little face sitting in your car, wearing the clothes you've bought, or you reading a book to her. No matter how much you try to not get attached, it's still just plain hard. Of course, it leads me to question things too. Because we chose her which lead us to the agency and country, what if we strayed the wrong way? We can't switch agencies now, but we could switch countries. Maybe we should switch to Ethiopia because the stay when you go is much shorter and more reliable. Maybe we chose the wrong agency. Maybe we just shouldn't look for a child too early because so much can happen in the months ahead that my emotions would be best to not be messed with.
The agency called today to follow up. She reminded me that we are dealing with foreign countries. That other countries besides America adopt from them and that the child is ultimately owned by the government. This means that no matter how much we can try to match ahead of time, things can happen completely out of anyone's control.I knew that, but really thought that the connection between the agency and the orphanage woud protect that from happening. Of course I want to be mad at the agency. I feel like they should have known 3 weeks ago, or followed up in the last few weeks more effectively to know. But ultimately I think about the many blogs, forums, and websites I've read that constantly talk about the frustrations of adoption. The patience you need and the control you don't have. I am so thankful for my aunt. I just needed to talk about my frustrations so I called her on the way home from work today. She reminded me that all we can do is our part. Turn in our stuff, and pray. Papers might sit on desks for weeks without anyone seeing them, or they may even get lost. I've read countless stories of unfortunate situations, but did not know she had been through it more than once. With my last cousins, the paperwork sent to India got totally lost! They were in the middle of a move to another state and so when they had to resubmit it, they had to redo their homestudy for their current state. Wow! We are not even through the homestudy part. I can't imagine getting to that point and being back where are only are now. It was the perfect reminder how little control I have over any of this.
One of the verses I've been leaning on: Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.
—Proverbs 3:5
The agency called today to follow up. She reminded me that we are dealing with foreign countries. That other countries besides America adopt from them and that the child is ultimately owned by the government. This means that no matter how much we can try to match ahead of time, things can happen completely out of anyone's control.I knew that, but really thought that the connection between the agency and the orphanage woud protect that from happening. Of course I want to be mad at the agency. I feel like they should have known 3 weeks ago, or followed up in the last few weeks more effectively to know. But ultimately I think about the many blogs, forums, and websites I've read that constantly talk about the frustrations of adoption. The patience you need and the control you don't have. I am so thankful for my aunt. I just needed to talk about my frustrations so I called her on the way home from work today. She reminded me that all we can do is our part. Turn in our stuff, and pray. Papers might sit on desks for weeks without anyone seeing them, or they may even get lost. I've read countless stories of unfortunate situations, but did not know she had been through it more than once. With my last cousins, the paperwork sent to India got totally lost! They were in the middle of a move to another state and so when they had to resubmit it, they had to redo their homestudy for their current state. Wow! We are not even through the homestudy part. I can't imagine getting to that point and being back where are only are now. It was the perfect reminder how little control I have over any of this.
One of the verses I've been leaning on: Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.
—Proverbs 3:5
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Psych--psych me
Emotions today. I'm still awaiting answers to questions from Uganda regarding specifics of our little girl. Told me it would probably take a week so naturally when today has been a week I expected my email to be waiting for me when I awoke. Ha!
Glenn and I met with the psychologist today for our 'eval'. I went in so happy because my insurance actually approved the visit (I'm thinking, wow, how did an insurance company actually come through when I needed them to?), but I came out being frustrated that we will likely still have to pay the guy close to a thousand bucks. The agency required both the MMPI and the TAT tests. We were told it's unlikely the insurance will pay. He will submit, but they will likely not see a reason and so he went over the hourly cost and what will be charged. Uggh. We seriously considered acting like we have problems to get it all covered, knowing that in the end then the guy probably wouldn't say we were fit to be parents. Oh....the decisions we have to make in this process :)
Glenn and I met with the psychologist today for our 'eval'. I went in so happy because my insurance actually approved the visit (I'm thinking, wow, how did an insurance company actually come through when I needed them to?), but I came out being frustrated that we will likely still have to pay the guy close to a thousand bucks. The agency required both the MMPI and the TAT tests. We were told it's unlikely the insurance will pay. He will submit, but they will likely not see a reason and so he went over the hourly cost and what will be charged. Uggh. We seriously considered acting like we have problems to get it all covered, knowing that in the end then the guy probably wouldn't say we were fit to be parents. Oh....the decisions we have to make in this process :)
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Country decision
Well, despite not being prepared in my mind to make too many decisions already, we have made some important ones in the last week.
We decided on Uganda. We decided to pursue a waiting child.
I actually began writing the details and after a couple of paragraphs decided I'd better wait. I'm really not sure ethically what all I can talk about in a blog at this point so I need to confirm with the agency before saying too much more. I know that some things are sensitive to countries and they prefer certain details not be on the web. I will respect that and give you what I can as I learn what I can share.
What I can tell you is that our heart has lead us to a waiting child. That means she has qualified already as an orphan and is 'waiting' for a forever family- probably because she is older (listed at 3-4yrs but is possibly a bit older). She is listed in good health. The exciting part is that it means that after our Dossier (the country app) has been approved, the referral will take place immediately and so the waiting time will be reduced (the referral waiting time is generally 2-6 months in Uganda). We are truly excited but guarding our hearts as well. In all likelihood, she will become ours, but only God knows if she is the little girl ultimately chosen for us to parent. We do know now, that if it doesn't work out, our child will be from Uganda. Once we chose to pursue her, that ruled out India because 1) this agency doesn't work with India and 2) you submit your Dossier to one country. There is a little grieving in my mind. I really wanted India. But I really wanted Africa. I guess that means I would have been grieving either way, but I do feel good about where we are going.
So, with little time that has passed, we have began educating ourselves on the country. Some things we have learned are; 1) Savannah's soccer club, Pride, has a coach from there! 2) much of the country speaks English and many Ugandans have American first names 3) "God Grew Tired of Us" and "War Dance" are excellent documentaries if you want to give your family a reality check (we own one of them now and I'd love to loan it out).
Probably the scariest thing so far for me has been finding out last night that the Tax Deduction we were expecting to use could possibly not be available past this year. In 2001, Congress passed the EGTRRA bill (Economic Growth and Tax Relief Reconciliation Act) that increased the credit for special needs adoption and gave a credit for non special needs adoption. It will sunset the last day of this year unless another bill is passed for extension. My heart can't imagine with the economy and tax deductions they have added lately, and now the Haiti crisis, that congress won't renew it. But. One never knows what the government will do. Please pray for this. I know in my heart that God will take care of us regardless, but there are many other families that don't have that faith and will never pursue adoption without the added finance cushion.
Sunday, January 3, 2010
What kind of child is waiting for us?
Almost forgot and I'm sure there will be questions.
We are interested in a girl (no one cared about this part so I chose!) ages 4-6. No babies for us! and we really want to get them before they are too settled in school as we know this transition to another language, etc., will be hard enough as it is.
We are interested in a girl (no one cared about this part so I chose!) ages 4-6. No babies for us! and we really want to get them before they are too settled in school as we know this transition to another language, etc., will be hard enough as it is.
Questions about the International Decision
I have read on another post that when people ask why they chose a particular country, they always tell them that it's because that's where their child was. I guess that makes perfect sense to me. We have very much been lead in a direction that we aren't controlling. God knows where our child is and he is leading us there.
But here is the journey so far...of course not every incident and detail is included, but here are the biggies:
Initially I will tell you that Glenn and I both said we should adopt from America. We thought that we should not be looking overseas since there are kids here. Plus, we had always heard how expensive it is and cash flow is something we have not (otherwise my kids would have been on a ski trip they wanted to go on this winter break! choices, choices). Anyway, I started out by researching websites like http://www.howtoadopt.org/ and http://hopefororphans.com/images/mmDocument/AdoptionGuide.pdf (both are awesome guides if you have ever thought about adoption). I am so truly heartbroken over the statics; over 140 MILLION orphans worldwide. Broken down, America has approximately 130,000 of them. This seemed like such a small number for me even though all the numbers are not within my thinking. Our goal from the beginning was to truly give a child a life they would never know otherwise (I know that every childs life will be changed once they have a family, but this was a nudge towards the poorer nations). Even though the statistics are very grim for those living in America that exit the foster care system, we feel that at least they can receive food stamps, medical care, and there is a church on every other corner--totally not a reality in most countries. Help is readily available for the taking. The kids exiting the orphanages in other countries will in all likelyhood have nothing. I still wasn't sure though. I then read about the government tax credit, how churches sometimes help, and even grants and loans that organizations offer to help make international adoptions a reality. For the first time I was really at ease that God would take care of our financial needs in this and it shouldn't be a deciding factor. Glenn had agreed with me in all of this and we were closer to the decision. Soon after, I had a conversation with my cousin. Without prompting, he explained how he was eternally grateful for the "American opportunity". No doubt he wouldn't have his health, his wealth, and even his faith, if it weren't for the chance to live in America. It's so cliche, but he said that we really do often take that for granted and it's a very real reality for him. For me, that nailed it. I felt God was talking to me through him, and since he was one of the reasons we started this adventure in the first place, it made perfect sense that it would finalized through him (not even sure he knows this).
I know some of you could argue this path and I don't expect for all to agree and feel the same way. Again, it's how our heart is being lead and it's a good thing all others aren't lead this way or no kid in America would find a home!
But here is the journey so far...of course not every incident and detail is included, but here are the biggies:
Initially I will tell you that Glenn and I both said we should adopt from America. We thought that we should not be looking overseas since there are kids here. Plus, we had always heard how expensive it is and cash flow is something we have not (otherwise my kids would have been on a ski trip they wanted to go on this winter break! choices, choices). Anyway, I started out by researching websites like http://www.howtoadopt.org/ and http://hopefororphans.com/images/mmDocument/AdoptionGuide.pdf (both are awesome guides if you have ever thought about adoption). I am so truly heartbroken over the statics; over 140 MILLION orphans worldwide. Broken down, America has approximately 130,000 of them. This seemed like such a small number for me even though all the numbers are not within my thinking. Our goal from the beginning was to truly give a child a life they would never know otherwise (I know that every childs life will be changed once they have a family, but this was a nudge towards the poorer nations). Even though the statistics are very grim for those living in America that exit the foster care system, we feel that at least they can receive food stamps, medical care, and there is a church on every other corner--totally not a reality in most countries. Help is readily available for the taking. The kids exiting the orphanages in other countries will in all likelyhood have nothing. I still wasn't sure though. I then read about the government tax credit, how churches sometimes help, and even grants and loans that organizations offer to help make international adoptions a reality. For the first time I was really at ease that God would take care of our financial needs in this and it shouldn't be a deciding factor. Glenn had agreed with me in all of this and we were closer to the decision. Soon after, I had a conversation with my cousin. Without prompting, he explained how he was eternally grateful for the "American opportunity". No doubt he wouldn't have his health, his wealth, and even his faith, if it weren't for the chance to live in America. It's so cliche, but he said that we really do often take that for granted and it's a very real reality for him. For me, that nailed it. I felt God was talking to me through him, and since he was one of the reasons we started this adventure in the first place, it made perfect sense that it would finalized through him (not even sure he knows this).
I know some of you could argue this path and I don't expect for all to agree and feel the same way. Again, it's how our heart is being lead and it's a good thing all others aren't lead this way or no kid in America would find a home!
Saturday, January 2, 2010
The Process
BASIC PROCESS (Lori's analysis):
Homestudy (4-8 weeks), Country Paperwork (called a Dossier and takes up to 5 months but can get started near the end of the homestudy), Referral of child (this is where you get matched up with your child and depends on the kind of child you're looking for and the country), waiting for the government to approve, and then travel to get your child.
So to get started you need a homestudy. You can't really start your home study until you have picked an agency (because some agencies do their own homestudies and others work with local organizations to do them), and you can't pick an agency without picking a country. You have to pick a country in order to begin the paperwork process according to that countries specifics. Agencies only work with certain countries (often more than one though), so it became evident that we have to narrow down the agency and country pretty quickly. This is something I was not expecting to have to do so soon and am not happy about it. I want more time, but I keep reminding myself that everything is in God's perfect timing.
A lot of countries are not an option for us because of various qualifications, travel requirements, length of wait, etc. We have narrowed it down....at least ..I think....well, everyday that I think I've decided on 1 or 2, then something else comes up that I reconsider and add to my mania of researching. I did for now, find an agency that does more than one of the countries we are interested in. This way we can start the application process with them and still have a little time (only a couple weeks) to decide on country. I went ahead and contacted the organization here in the Springs to expedite the home study process that works with that agency. I feel comforted at this point. Turns out this home study organization works with many agencies so if we decide in the next few days on a different agency, we have likely still began on the correct path.
I think when I started this journey, I thought that I would be able to be matched up to kids from all countries and we would know the country our child was in just by being matched to them. It doesn't work that way at all. As I mentioned, you have to apply your paperwork according to that particular country. There isn't some huge country data base that each country uses to match to parents. In fact, each agency usually works with specific orphanages or organizations to match families. If each Dossier didn't cost hundred of dollars, I might now have wanted to apply to more than one country and see what came first.
Because each agency works with particular orphanges, that is why there can be a wait. Kinda depends on the children that are currently available within the orphange or orphanges when your paperwork is finalized. If one is available, you get a "referral" right away. If not, you wait. If there is another family ahead of you on the wait list, the match would go to them first, you wait. It looks like we are in for a minimum of 10 months to a year wait for us. Could be longer, could be only a bit shorter. Patience is not one of the attributes I was gifted with.
I know some of you may be familiar with this process and don't care to hear me going on and on. I figured some of you might be interested so sorry to bore those that don't care and just wanted to hear the main details.
We have a long road ahead of us and we ask for your prayers. To guide us in all decisions and never doubt Jeremiah 29:11.
Homestudy (4-8 weeks), Country Paperwork (called a Dossier and takes up to 5 months but can get started near the end of the homestudy), Referral of child (this is where you get matched up with your child and depends on the kind of child you're looking for and the country), waiting for the government to approve, and then travel to get your child.
So to get started you need a homestudy. You can't really start your home study until you have picked an agency (because some agencies do their own homestudies and others work with local organizations to do them), and you can't pick an agency without picking a country. You have to pick a country in order to begin the paperwork process according to that countries specifics. Agencies only work with certain countries (often more than one though), so it became evident that we have to narrow down the agency and country pretty quickly. This is something I was not expecting to have to do so soon and am not happy about it. I want more time, but I keep reminding myself that everything is in God's perfect timing.
A lot of countries are not an option for us because of various qualifications, travel requirements, length of wait, etc. We have narrowed it down....at least ..I think....well, everyday that I think I've decided on 1 or 2, then something else comes up that I reconsider and add to my mania of researching. I did for now, find an agency that does more than one of the countries we are interested in. This way we can start the application process with them and still have a little time (only a couple weeks) to decide on country. I went ahead and contacted the organization here in the Springs to expedite the home study process that works with that agency. I feel comforted at this point. Turns out this home study organization works with many agencies so if we decide in the next few days on a different agency, we have likely still began on the correct path.
I think when I started this journey, I thought that I would be able to be matched up to kids from all countries and we would know the country our child was in just by being matched to them. It doesn't work that way at all. As I mentioned, you have to apply your paperwork according to that particular country. There isn't some huge country data base that each country uses to match to parents. In fact, each agency usually works with specific orphanages or organizations to match families. If each Dossier didn't cost hundred of dollars, I might now have wanted to apply to more than one country and see what came first.
Because each agency works with particular orphanges, that is why there can be a wait. Kinda depends on the children that are currently available within the orphange or orphanges when your paperwork is finalized. If one is available, you get a "referral" right away. If not, you wait. If there is another family ahead of you on the wait list, the match would go to them first, you wait. It looks like we are in for a minimum of 10 months to a year wait for us. Could be longer, could be only a bit shorter. Patience is not one of the attributes I was gifted with.
I know some of you may be familiar with this process and don't care to hear me going on and on. I figured some of you might be interested so sorry to bore those that don't care and just wanted to hear the main details.
We have a long road ahead of us and we ask for your prayers. To guide us in all decisions and never doubt Jeremiah 29:11.
What?!
So THIS is the official announcement. The Boarman Family is going to adopt a child internationally.
The next question everyone is asking is how did this come about. Here's the short (okay, nothing I talk about is ever short, right!). I think God began preparing our hearts years ago as Glenn and I casually would bring it up without ever imagining it a reality. As most of you know, my Aunt is an amazing unselfish women who adopted 4 children (2 from India and 2 from Korea). When having conversations in the past with them, Glenn and I have always been amazed at how drastically different their life stories are because they live in America. Todd and Taylor were "older" children adopted from India and have not-so-fond stories to tell about the orphanges.
I don't know always know all the details of Glenn's journey, but I think mine started to take a serious turn after watching "Slum Dog Millionaire" a couple months ago. Not that I haven't had a heart for the parentless children in the past, but it was especially touching me. From there I have had constant encounters with the idea of adoption. Examples: opening up an email at work and seeing that my benefits now will allow me to use my extended illness bank for 6 weeks post adoption, talking with a co-worker about her Grandchild that might be put up for adoption, only to come home and see a Primetime story on adoption--there are many more and I can't begin to compose a list. I truly believe God was starting to prepare my heart to break. And it officially did on December 7, 2009 (Glenn's birthday) ,while watching "The Blindside". I broke down afterwards in the car. I told Glenn how I felt so blessed and so able to help. I know we can't change the world, but we can change another child's world. He didn't say much and I prayed hard. I told God that if this was really a path he wanted me to take, he'd better "slap me in the face with it". Next day I went to work and Glenn took the kids to see the movie. Later that night God slapped me in the face. Glenn initiated the process by telling me the timing could be right and he was in. We talked to the kids and prayed about it as a family. My children have made me so proud. They don't care age, sex or even color.
We can't always explain exactly how things come about and how God works, but I can tell you that with research, prayer, and time, it has become 100% clear that we have a child waiting somewhere that is ours.
We began announcing to family over the Christmas holiday and I have now spent approximately ?? hours in the last week and a half researching. As every adoptive parents knows, it's a frustrating process. My summary: you can't make decisions without information, and you can't get information without makeing decisions. Ugg!
The next question everyone is asking is how did this come about. Here's the short (okay, nothing I talk about is ever short, right!). I think God began preparing our hearts years ago as Glenn and I casually would bring it up without ever imagining it a reality. As most of you know, my Aunt is an amazing unselfish women who adopted 4 children (2 from India and 2 from Korea). When having conversations in the past with them, Glenn and I have always been amazed at how drastically different their life stories are because they live in America. Todd and Taylor were "older" children adopted from India and have not-so-fond stories to tell about the orphanges.
I don't know always know all the details of Glenn's journey, but I think mine started to take a serious turn after watching "Slum Dog Millionaire" a couple months ago. Not that I haven't had a heart for the parentless children in the past, but it was especially touching me. From there I have had constant encounters with the idea of adoption. Examples: opening up an email at work and seeing that my benefits now will allow me to use my extended illness bank for 6 weeks post adoption, talking with a co-worker about her Grandchild that might be put up for adoption, only to come home and see a Primetime story on adoption--there are many more and I can't begin to compose a list. I truly believe God was starting to prepare my heart to break. And it officially did on December 7, 2009 (Glenn's birthday) ,while watching "The Blindside". I broke down afterwards in the car. I told Glenn how I felt so blessed and so able to help. I know we can't change the world, but we can change another child's world. He didn't say much and I prayed hard. I told God that if this was really a path he wanted me to take, he'd better "slap me in the face with it". Next day I went to work and Glenn took the kids to see the movie. Later that night God slapped me in the face. Glenn initiated the process by telling me the timing could be right and he was in. We talked to the kids and prayed about it as a family. My children have made me so proud. They don't care age, sex or even color.
We can't always explain exactly how things come about and how God works, but I can tell you that with research, prayer, and time, it has become 100% clear that we have a child waiting somewhere that is ours.
We began announcing to family over the Christmas holiday and I have now spent approximately ?? hours in the last week and a half researching. As every adoptive parents knows, it's a frustrating process. My summary: you can't make decisions without information, and you can't get information without makeing decisions. Ugg!
Adoption
As we've begun telling people that we are adopting, many have asked for me to start a blog. To be honest, I didn't want to. Mostly, I am overwhelmed. I have so much to do (or as Glenn would say, some things I choose to do to create more chaos in my life); research, read, prepare, pray, paperwork. And.... this is one more thing that is going to keep me from spending time with my kids.
However, I'm feeling differently at the moment. After spending some time reading adoption blogs others have shared, I see that this is actually a quicker way of sharing what is current. Certainly, a personal way, and most of you know I am not afraid to share what's on my mind (sorry). More importantly, it will be a story to share with our child that I could never compose afterwards.
I'm actually at ease about this blog thing as I write. I am excited to share how God has, is, and will work in our lives. I have never before felt so close to him. Okay, I'm getting emotional already-think this is going to be a norm for me from now on. I did, however, agree to myself that if I were to do this, I would not sugar coat anything.
Only my heart and honesty will be embedded here.
However, I'm feeling differently at the moment. After spending some time reading adoption blogs others have shared, I see that this is actually a quicker way of sharing what is current. Certainly, a personal way, and most of you know I am not afraid to share what's on my mind (sorry). More importantly, it will be a story to share with our child that I could never compose afterwards.
I'm actually at ease about this blog thing as I write. I am excited to share how God has, is, and will work in our lives. I have never before felt so close to him. Okay, I'm getting emotional already-think this is going to be a norm for me from now on. I did, however, agree to myself that if I were to do this, I would not sugar coat anything.
Only my heart and honesty will be embedded here.
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