adoption classes

Tomorrow we take our last adoption class and it will mainly focus in transracial/transcultural adoption. More sacrifice as we'll miss one of Savannah's biggest games!
Last week we had two all day classes, and Glenn and I both agree we learned way more than we thought! Many things I probably would have done opposite. For example, never wanted to teach my kids to run to me for every little thing and so I never made a big deal about cuts, scrapes, etc. It is actually really important for parents to completely acknowlege all of these things and let the kids realize you are there for them. They have to learn that someone does care and learn that their needs will be met. A lot of them don't even cry for anything because they have learned it doesn't matter. The classes were really based on Erickson's stages of development. Remember that from school? Trust versus mistrust is the first stage and many of the kids never get through that one. So, for the first weeks to months to up to a year we will have to help our children go through the stages until they are caught up and help them see us as their primary caregivers in order to bond. Often kids will regress (going back to those stages) and that is expected and okay. An example is that an older kid might want to drink out of a bottle once home. You should let them! and even hold them while they do. They know what they haven't received (maybe they have never been held while being fed, etc). The instructors assured us that this will not be permanent (whew) and they have to go through each stage. It all makes so much sense and I'm glad we were required to learn it all.
Other things going on....our psych evals are finally done ($560 later after insurance coverage). I tried to send them to the agency and then she recommended I just give them to the Home Study social worker. What?! the agency required them and Melissa (social worker) already approved our Home Study without them and never wanted them. So frustrating.
Also, International agency has some concerns with some verbage in our Home Study and how that might look to the country. So....just when I thought things were moving, they're not. It's being worked on but looks like we are now 2-3 weeks from submitting the I600a (see previous post). I have already screamed.

My Aunt told me on the phone one day. "Lori, you just have to do your part. You can hurry and gather your stuff and do everything to keep it going fast, but ultimately it might sit on someones desk for 3 weeks and you have no control of that. All you can do is pray and do your part".  This has comforted me way more than I ever wanted it to at this stage, but thank you for giving me that advice, Auntie.

Switching countries to Ghana

Since Feb, Uganda has been struggling with their adoption process. In Uganda, the law is that one must reside there for 3 years in order to adopt. The way International Adoption has been proceeding around that in the past is to get a guardianship with the intention to adopt by the Ugandan courts, and then come to the US to make it final. In the last few month new judges has have come in and recently they decided to take out those words "with the intention to adopt".  Some (judges) argue that they should be following the law of 3 years, and some argue they should be following the law of doing what is in the best interest of the child. In the meantime, the US embassy has now refused to issue the visas to leave the country for obvious legal reasons. The very sad part, is that some families went over to Uganda, met up with their child, got legal guardianship (from the Ugandan courts), and now are waiting. I have been following one families blog and she has currently been there 10 weeks while they sort all this out. We have been trying to ride it out and not make a decision to switch until we ultimately had to (the country gets listed in the finalized Home Study), even though I think we knew in our hearts we wouldn't have confirmation in time. At this point, Uganda has agreed to put the wording back in (why the heck don't they just change the law!), but now the US embassy wants letters from 3 different Ugandan Ministries, which lawyers are advising will take months.
While we pretty much knew this was coming, our agency recently put the Ugandan program on hold, so it's really not a choice even if we wanted to push through.  What are our choices? Well, when you sign on with an agency, you are boundried by the countries that they work with. The other two countries that will work with our interests and family, are Ethiopia and Ghana.  When I talked further with the agency in the last two weeks, they updated me on some news that has been transpiring in Ethiopia including that now you have to travel there twice. After prayer and research, we decided Ghana was our best choice. It's on the west side of Africa and borders the ocean. Looks like a beautiful country and a great place to visit.
I've begun to pray for twins. It would be so much easier.

Home Study done!

I know it's been a long time since I've updated, but we've been kinda in a "hurry up and wait" mode. More progress though as Glenn and I reviewed and signed our Home Study yesterday morning. It's amazing to me how much they know about us now, but there is still more to come!  So...what now? Monday it gets emailed to our International agency and if they approve, it gets forwarded to Colorado for State approval. This has been taking around a week. Once that is done, we can send in our I600 (Application for Advance Processing of Orphan Petition). Basically step two out of three in the entire process, it's a preapproval by the US immigration to bring orphans into the country (I keep calling it a pre-visa). Tell you more as it comes.....

There are so many details to write, yet so few. I struggle sometimes with how much to put in this blog as I don't want to bore, overwhelm, or keep you from coming here for the basic info. I guess I will really try and do a happy medium and know that you can always contact me for any details I keep you curious about.